Spending is more fun then saving.

Hey lovies. I hope you enjoyed my sister in law Chrissyy's fashion post. The views were amaze and she's officially the fashion blogger for  my blog. Every Saturday she'll post great tips and topics about clothes, shoes, hair, jewelry and everything else that has to do with fashion. Stay tuned!

Back to my post: I have a confession I need to get off my chest....

Hello, My name is Johanna and I have no money saved anywhere. I know, I know. This is horrible. How does a mother of two not have any money in the bank? Judge if you may. Just like I said. No money save anywhere. Not in the bank, not in a coffee can, not in a shoebox, not even under a mattress. I'm embarrassed to even say that. How do I work and not have any money saved? Well, I also have another confession which might just answer my problems. My name is Johanna and I'm addicted to: spending money. 

Addicted to to spending money? Does that make sense? I'm not talking about rapper balling out of control. I'm talking about Johanna is spending out of control like she might be a celebrity. It's extremely sad. I get high when I spend money. Its like an orgasm when I swipe my debit card or even hand cash to a cashier. Sounds disgusting. 'High off of spending money?' I should be ashamed of myself. The mother of two children with no money in the bank saved because I HAVE to spend it. How did this even happen? I blame my mother Gaetane (Don't try to pronounce it. Haa. It sounds like GAY-TEEN. I still giggle when I say it). My mom. I love her to death of course. But she is a frequent spender. She's known everywhere she goes. Buys things out of want, not need. Spends because she wants to, not because she has to. If she has money in the bank, wallet, purse she's going out to spend it. She's had credit card debt that she cleaned up. Debt, such a nasty word. Sad to say she didn't learn her lesson. She too has no money saved in the bank. And I, Johanna inherited that nasty, horrible trait. How?! My dad, brothers, fiancé and even sister are Jews (Not to offend any Jew. This just mean that they are able to hold onto money without spending it.) My dad stressed to me when I first got a job how important it was too save money:

" Save $20- $50 out every check and it'll build up for a rainy day. Just incase an emergency happens you'll have some money handy."

WHAT? Impossible. Save money? Don't spend it? Pssshh, Ok dad. Thanks but no thanks. I'm blowing it. Still, he keeps stressing that I need to save money and still, I ignored him and went along my merry way to spending. I did it so well. Swipe here, cash there. Worked and refilled my money. Life is great. My mother was the same way. She was financially dependent on my dad. Why wouldn't she be? He loved to take care of her, and she loved to be taken cared of. Perfect combination. I met Melvin and Boom!. He loved to take care of me, I didn't refuse him to take care of me. Perfect combination. He paid for my books, classes, gas, everything. So instead of saving money I didn't use. I found another way to spend it. Dinners, shoes, clothes, unnecessary shxt. I didn't know the difference between needing and wanting. And that time, I didn't care. I admired my brothers and Mels saving ways. They'd have money and not touch them at all for months. I was flabbergasted. How is that even possible. To KNOW you have money and not spend it? Sheesh. That's like a punishment to me. So spent I did.  Just knowing I can buy what I wanted with no restriction made me a super happy woman. Then I got hit with "hurry up and buy" syndrome. Then I started getting emails from Saks fifth, Burberry,  Gucci and it just fueled my spending habit even more. In the back of my mind I didn't want to be like my mother. I didn't want to end up in debt. That wasn't my plan. But, actions spoke louder than words and my actions told my words to shut up. Having kids and having a my own home made my spending even worse. I brought them everything. Whether they needed it, I wanted it for them. If I had a coupon move out the way. I brought things to make my house nice. Went to Shoprite to buy milk and came out with $125.00 worth of groceries. Went to Starbucks for an iced coffee, ended up spending $20.00 on other things. Went to dinner with friends. If I had the money. Dinner on Johanna. My treat. My even greater weakness? Coupons. I got them in my e-mail, regular mail, friends, the newspaper.  If I had a coupon there was a 100% chance that I'm going to buy something. Anything. I had this rule where I told my self "You're not cheap". I associated saving money with being cheap. I didn't want to be labeled as cheap. So I spent money. My bank account was depleting and Melvin was not having it. 

" I find it fxcking crazy how you blow through a check in two days with nothing to show for it. You should be saving that money"

"My money, my business"

"It's my business also when that could be used for something better than a shirt from Burberry. How about new tires for your car?'

"Hmmm. Burberry sounds better"

"I'm done with this shxt yo. You're unbelievable. That shxts gonna kick you in your ass and I'm not gonna help when it does."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever you say Tim"

Did I care? No. No I didn't. See when Melvin is right. I say he's wrong. Or he'll use it against me for life. But, He was right. My habits were putting me in fire. After all this is a relationship, we have a family. I should be helping out. I was living paycheck to paycheck and that wasn't good. But it didn't hit me until Sunday. Sunday in the pouring rain I went to CVS with the kids to get milk. Well, my car battery died. We sat in the pouring rain for almost 45 mins waiting for Kesha to come jump my car. All I could think was "What if its not the battery. What if its something more serious. I don't have anymore to get it fixed." Luckily, It was the battery and we were able to jump it without a problem. Still, I kept thinking what if it was something more serious. I need a second opinion on my spending habits. No way was I asking Mel. He'd rip me a new one. So, I went to Guga. She'll tells me the truth. Even when I don't want to hear it.

"You're a label whore. So you spend"

"Ahem, I'm NOT a label whore. I don't buy myself clothes"

"Ok, What about your kids?'

"They need clothes"

"Label whore. You're kids don't NEED everything you buy them"

"They're growing they need clothes. I know what my problem is. Starbucks"

"If you actually looked at how much money you really spent at Starbucks, you'd be pissed as hell. It's more expensive than smoking"

"Maybe I should take up smoking"

"No, maybe you should budget your money. I write down everything I spend. That way I can track it. Make a list for the grocery store and stick to it."

Write down everything? Sounds like work. But, I know thats what I need to do to get this spending in check. I'm gonna write down everything I spend. Make a list for the grocery store and only buy if I NEED it. My three a day Starbucks will become twice a day until I can make it one a day. My label whoring must come to a halt. Labels are not important. Thats something I got from my mom. A habit I need to break. I've armed myself with the necessary tasks that'll get this into check. If I fail to save. I can only blame myself. Everything is a work in progress and I'm gonna work and progress. I'll be sure to let you guys know how its going. Hopefully it won't be as hard as I'm picturing it to be. Ha ha. Easier said then done. But, the goal is to get it done.

I'm officially hitting the save money button!

Hope you guys have a great day! Spend wisely. If you have any tips and tricks on how to save or making saving easier. Share!

Peace && Pink..

TPN..