I'll take a Kim Kardashian to go.

Kim Kardashian. Ugh I can't stand her sexy ass. I watch her eating everything she wants on tv and still has the perfect body. I want that body. I'll have the Kim Kardashian please and thank you. Can I have that body?? Please? Well begging won't help. I look in the mirror and cringe. I've never been slim....ever. But after two kids I'd like to be back into my high school days weight. Actually, I'd LOVE to be back to that size. But ugh, I live for food. The smell of a home cooked meal. The smell of any meal actually. I  live for it. I love trying new foods and I love going to new restaurants. I...love..to...eat. I wish food didn't love me as much as I loved it. It's evident food loves me. I look in the mirror and see the food I ate staring back in the form of my stomach and thighs...awesome. Another reminder of why I envy Kim Kardashian or any celebrity that has the body of a goddess. How do I lose weight? Eat less. Should be simple right? Wrong. Very wrong. Eating less is part of it. Being active is another. (Speaking of active I'm staring at my sneakers and gym bag collecting dust in my coat closet. The same coat closet I pass by everyday. The exact coat closet that I look into everyday. I look right past my gym bag. Guess no gym today). Now, I make no excuses for the things that I do. But losing weight? I have a book of excuses. "My fiancée is a big guy (6'4 300 lbs) so its hard not to eat a lot because he does, I'm a mom of two so I eat their left overs, I work nights so I need to eat to stay awake,  I can't say no to my moms cooking so I always eat seconds out of respect" and the list goes on. BULLSHXT. I know you have an excuse. We all do. I even bullshxted and said in the begin I wanna go back to high school days. Not at all. I wanna be fxcking slim. I wanna wear a bikini and smile. I wanna run around naked and not have anything flapping around.( If I choose to do so).  I wanna wear a dress and have no stomach poking out. I ask my fiancée Mel "do you think I'm fat?" Being the awesome guy he is. He says "No babe I think you're fine". I ask my other friend Kristin "You think I'm fat"? Being the friend I love she says "No but I think you can stand to lose a few pounds". AMEN! I do too!!! Damnit. And then another commercial with Kim Kardashian pops up as I'm eating an apple (thank God it was an apple and not some nasty fattening crap). That's it. It's time to lose this weight. Seeing a friends success in weight loss with Weight Watchers. I joined it. Needless to say. I canceled. WW isn't for me. I know what my problem is. I mentioned all my excuses about not losing weight. But did I say that I'm a good eater?? I read labels. I'm a veggie and fruit lover. I drink almond/soy milk. I love tofu and brown rice. I love fish. I rarely eat sweets. I despise cake. Ice cream I'll pass on. Frozen yogurt I'll take. I know random facts about almost everything food wise. I know I eat healthy. So wtf is the problem? Portion control. A palm of this, a finger tip of that, a thumb size of this, dabble of that. Cut that shxt. I'm hungry. I don't have time to be measuring out food that keeps me hungry even after eating. That my friends is my sabotage. Sure I'm eating grilled chicken with brown rice and asparagus (check). But I also just ate 3 pieces of grilled chicken 2 cups of rice and a bunch of asparagus (minus) I fxcked up.....bad. Ohh so that's why I don't see the difference in weight. Uh huh. Ok. I gotta fix that. ASAP.  I did some research and found out that Kimberly Kardashian is a work out whore. She works out 7 days a week  and even though we see her eating what she wants, she actually watches what she eats. She works for that body of hers. And she deserves to have it. Ok. I guess she has a reason. Nonetheless I'm still jealous. So today. I pledge to put more effort into losing this weight. I have a trip to Puerto Rico in December and I need to be lighter. I'll keep you guys tuned in. I plan on tackling.......the gym. I hate that place. But that's another post. So keep looking out.  Let me go play mom. My son just ate his 5th yogurt in a hour. It's time I give him an intervention.  Xoxo Luvs. Have a great night.


Peace && Pink
TPN..