...Something new. Never hurts.

Hey hey. I've been slacking lately. I apologize! I hope everyone enjoyed the weather. I did.

I spent the day in Philly with my loves. It was amazing. I met new people. Tried new things. I've always been the one to "try" something new. Whether its food...music...exercise..sex positions (shhhh). I'm always trying new things. One thing I'm eagerly excited about is make-up. I've always been shy when it came to make up. I don't know why. But seeing a friend Robin Facebook pictures sparked my interest once again. This girl is flawless. She's a make up artist & a M.A.C girl. Every time I see one of her Fb pics I drool. Talk about hot stuff! Her make up makes you wanna clear out your bank account and just move into M.A.C. The term make up ARTIST doesn't do her justice. Shes a make up goddess. She's my girl crush. (Yeah I said it so what). I'm gonna attempt to move her in my house and do my make up until after I die. Haha. She's one of the reasons why I reinstated my love with all things make up. Her && a friend named Ray. He's always "beat to the God's" and for a guy, his face is always gorgeous. He's also a M.A.C girl out of Macy's in Philly. My fiancé brought me a pink M.A.C lipstick and I told myself I'm gonna learn. So I took it to M.A.C and they showed me some tips and tricks. The M.A.C girl seduced me into spending $82.00. I sold my make up virginity for NC 45 (M.A.C talk) And if it weren't for Mel. I'd buy the whole damn counter. Thank God for Mel. Lol. I'm eager to learn and experiment with all colors. I won't be as flawless as Robin or Ray, But I'm damn sure gonna try. Stay tuned

I tried an Asian drink called "Bubble Tea" it was amazing (I'm part Japanese so I feel like I should of at least tried). It has bubbles of Asian gummies and came in all favors. Amaze. I even got Mel to try it and he's one of the hardest people to get to try anything. Needless to say, he loves it. I'm still figuring out how to put pics in order with captions. So bare with me.

I'm gonna end this with places to try in Philly && Pics. The pics won't be in order for captions but I'm still working on that.

PLACES TO GO IN PHILLY:

-Jake's Sandwich Board - 122 South 12th Street Philadelphia, pa

Www.Jakessandwichboard.com

AMAZING! Sandwiches and sides. I had the vegetarian Farmers Market sandwich with balsamic glaze. My fiancé Mel had the 50/50 which is pulled pork based. He loved it. Jae had a grilled cheese. They also have chocolate covered bacon..peanut chew milkshakes. The people are awesome. Go there when you're in a sandwichy mood.

-Kenshin Asian Diner- 301 Spring Garden Street. Philadelphia, Pa

http://acai37.com/website/kenshindiner/

My favorite Asian restaurant. They have amazing food. They don't have pork. But you won't miss it. Try their crab fried rice. Amazing. They also have great Pad Thai. Don't forget to try the bubble tea. It comes in 10/15 flavors. They have great options for vegetarians and vegans. Go there for Asian. You'll love it.

-Philly Cupcake Shop - 1132 Chestnut Street. Philadelphia, Pa

Www.phillycupcake.com

I'm not a sweets person. But, Mel and my son are cupcake junkies. I was surprised to see they had vegan cupcakes. Which are AMAZING. (amazing is my choice of word for the day). The shop was beyond cute and they had my two weaknesses: Chocolate and Swedish fish.........together. Chocolate covered Swedish fish.....OMFG. Need I say more?? Go there........now.

-Macy's MAC store- 1300 Market Street Philadelphia, Pa. Ray works there! He's amazing.

Try them. You might like it. You might not. Nothing hurts to try. Like my dad said "Try it once..if you don't like it OK, but if you do like it. It's still OK" Have a great night! Xoxo

Peace && Pink
TPN...

Afraid of.......Heels

I love shoes. I mean what woman doesn't. Sneakers, sandals, wedges, heels. We see shoes and we go gaga. Macys has that shoe sale and its every woman for herself. Watch your back, front and sides. Come prepared. We need them...we want them...we must have them. Marilyn Monroe said "Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can rule the world". Right on! Girl power! But I have a confession....it's nothing serious but still I wanna come clean:....

I'm afraid of heights. Not like roller coaster afraid. More like heels afraid.... (insert awkwardness here....)

Stupid right? I'm 26 I should be double dutching in heels. I should be seducing men in heels. Shxt, I should be running after children in heels. I should be a pro..Right? Hell to the NO. I'm a wuss..Don't get me wrong I walk into a store and see a pair of heels and I picture myself strutting my stuff..showing off, giggling, laughing, being hot... And then I snap back into reality and look down at my feet to see my Nikes staring back at me. Oh....that was a short day dream followed by a rude awakening. I drool when I see heels. It's like that hot married guy who lives next door. You can look but you cannot touch. In my case, I can look but I cannot walk. And still that doesn't stop me. I want to buy every pair of heels I see. Literally..Sequined, snake skin..leather..red..pink..black..leopard (don't get me started on leopard). But I don't buy any because I know it'll collect dust and the most ill use them for is to get Mel to buy me something I really want (insert creative XXX ideas here). These super models, celebrities , even my friends have me seething with jealousy. I want a pair of heels, bad. I'm craving them. I make up for not wearing heels by wearing flats and flashy, one of a kind sneakers. Which is probably working against me at the same time. I asked Kristin to show me how to walk in heels. She looked at me like I was crazy. Kristin is a pro walker (Not like prostitute. Hiii Kristin :) ) She walks in up to 6in heels. Aye carumba. Now that my friends..That's a skill I need to learn. So she said she'd help. I adopted the "No excuses" quote for 2012. I'm not gonna have an excuse to not do anything. I'm gonna try everything. Starting with heels. So if I don't post back you can attribute that to me hurting myself. But damnit I'm gonna learn if it kills me. I need to. And I will. Shoot, if the guys on Real Housewives of Atlanta can run in heels. I can do (or try) to also. It's all in the mental....and feet.

Remember NO EXCUSES! And if you can't walk in heels. I challenge you to try. And if you can walk in heels. Give me some tips and tricks. Help a sister out! I'm working so this post is short.y apologies. It's my Friday and then I'm off for 5 days (amen!) Have an awesome night guys. Xoxo.

Peace && Pink
TPN...

Gym or Punishment? What's the difference?

I despise the gym. I mean I really dislike it. I feel like I'm being punished when I have to go. Yet I have a gym membership. I pass. I used to be at the gym everyday. But everyday I went. Everyday I felt like I just didn't belong. That doesn't even make sense. How don't you belong at the gym? Everyone belongs at the gym. The gym is a warm friendly place with a loving atmosphere where people get fit. Negative. To me the gym is a mini school/prison that's divided into three: The Jocks...The Elderlies && The wannabe downers..

The Jocks: They live for the gym. Looks like the situation and the male cast of Jersey Shore. Ripped tank tops...pumped up...sweating and grunting with every push up, pull up, leg press they do. They come up to 3 times a day for hours. They scare me.

The Jocks (Females): They're just as bad. They're the pretty (or not so pretty) ones that has on tiny clothes and super tight pants. And they're lifting weights and running on that elliptical like they're chasing a sale at Nordstrom's. Focused. They're already hot and sexy. They go to keep up. I envy them. They scare me also.

The Elderlies: Usually there in the morning. Crack of dawn with their sneakers and headbands that reminds you of something from the A-Team. Ready to kill. They occupy the treadmill, saunas and the pool. Also, they're front and center in the classes. Trying to keep that arthritis in check

Finally....my team...my crew...my people...give it up forrrrrrrrrr

The wannabe downers: We come for a purpose. We pepped talked our asses out the bed and went to the gym. We don't know proper gym attire. So we wear sweats with big tees. We ain't looking sexy....at all. We go because we wanna be down with the Jocks. We want the staff to know us and say "looking good". Shxt we go to drop that few pounds we talked about so much.

Man, I walk into that gym like I'm a boss and then I look around and wanna run. But it's too late.....the girl already took my key and gave me a lock. Shxt, now if I ask for my keys back I look like a failure. OK you've won this round. I walk into the locker room and it smells like sweat mixed with tears mixed with desperation covered up with Victoria Secrets love spell. I see women naked from the shower. And I think "yeah I damn sure need to be here". I put my stuff in the locker walk out with my head held high ready to bust a sweat. I go into the gym with the mantra "Sweat is just fat crying". Ya know, to make me feel better because my fat about to cry.....a river. I get on that treadmill and start walking. 10 mins into walking I feel like I'm gonna die. Wtf is going on. I look next to me...low and behold there's a jock running her ass off. My fats fat is crying a river and there she is.. Running with just a bit of sweat trickling down her face. Hmmm. Touché jock. You've succeeded in making me feel like ms piggy. Touché. You won this round. (The score is now 2 gym...0 Johanna) But like Arnold said: "I'll be back" I got off the treadmill defeated..got my shxt and went home. And I haven't been back.....in 3 months. Around that same time Bri got hit with a horrible infection and that just canceled the gym all together. Which made it easier not to go..

I know. I know. Excuses. I told you guys I'm full of them. But no....seriously. I'm waiting on Pudd to get her membership because it's proven that having a partner at the gym ups your chances of going everyday. I'm ashamed to say I begged Mel to buy me Kinect Workouts. Which he did for my Xbox Kinect. I used that cd to kill a bug the other day. I hope it works still because until I sum up the courage to go back to the gym...I'll be working out from home. Before the Jock beat me. I went to the gym every morning. 5 days a week...and loved it. I'm not screwing up. I'm gonna do it. So YOU do it too! The biggest lift you'll ever do is getting your ass off the couch. I'm at work (don't get me started) saving lives. If this post is short. I'm sorry! Have a great night! Xoxo

Some motivation for you guys!

Peace && Pink
TPN...

Slim is not built in a day...

"Lord. Why is she wearing that?". That's what I think when I see body size and clothes confusions. But before I get to that part....

Day 6 meat free! Pow! I'm doing it && it's getting easier by the day. I'm very proud of myself. On that note.....

Mel had to go to Cherry Hill mall today so I took the ride with him. I wore tights. I'm bigger on the bottom (all thighs no ass) please don't ask how that's possible. It just is. I've had this Victoria Secret leggings he brought me and was to embarrassed to wear it. Yes, embarrassed. I get this feeling that all eyes are on me and if someone is laughing or saying something it's about me. All because I feel like I'm wearing something way too embarrassing. Which is why I don't wear dresses or shorts much. Or anything super feminine for that matter. Albeit, I listened to Mel and wore these black yoga leggings today. Smh. OK whatever. I still felt out my comfort zone. The whole time Mel is saying "Babe you look fine. I see over obese females wearing things they shouldn't and you're insecure over your body? Stop it" Still I tell him shut up. I don't know why. But, I feel like the biggest person in the room.....until I stepped into the Cherry Hill mall. I didn't even want to go in. Brielle was tired of her car seat and after drinking 60oz of water my bladder was screaming for a way out. I debated in the car "Johanna don't get out this car with these tights on. You look like a hot bubbling mess" but damn, my bladder at this point sent a signal saying "Bxtch if you don't go pee you're own your own" and Brielle is throwing things at lightening speed. Ok ok both of you win, I'm getting out the car. I'll go pee and give Bri some fresh air. I get out bust out her stroller (which I need a smaller version of) and get to walking and automatically I feel people laughing at me, staring at me. I feel so out of place. Why am I wearing these fxcking tights?!? Why didn't I wear a pair of jeans or sweats or some less tight shxt. Ahhh! People are staring. What I didn't notice is that I had two guys hold all four doors open for me and Bri (How chivalrous of them). Ha ha. I've been in Cherry Hill mall a million times but I couldn't find the bathroom so instead of roaming I asked a woman "Can you tell me where the nearest bathroom is please?" she ignores me and her bf says "Baby girl it's down this way". I say my thanks and as I leave the woman says "if my leggings were painted on maybe you'd listen to what I said" OMG! Now I'm dying. No no no! I need to buy some pants. This is preposterous. I can't deal right now. Now I'm moving at the speed of light. I need to pee and fly out of here. And then I looked around and realized that I'm in a pit of rachetness....

(SN: Rachetness is a Johanna word meaning foolishness, craziness)

I'm here being so insecure about leggings and this plus size woman is wearing shorts with gladiator sandals. Her shirt is way too small. Her rolls have a roll and she's wearing a shirt that's clinging to her every umm curve. And she's proud. She's proud and I want to hide for her. I know this is wrong in every way possible. I know ladies on the bigger size that knows how to dress their bodies. Makes you look twice because they're so pretty. But this right here? This right here was pure utter rachetness. I cringed for her. Looking around more. I see more and more violations of size and clothing that just doesn't fit. I even seen smaller girls dressing with no shame! And here I am bugging out because of my leggings? That minute I realized what these girls have that I don't...pride and self confidence. They're completely confident in their outfits and I'm completely mortified in mine. I found the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I didn't look that bad. Not at all. So what's the problem? I'm just not confident in clothes besides jeans and sweats. Ok. I decided to fix that. Right in that bathroom I said "Johanna get your self together. No ones talking about you. Stop being insecure. You look fine" I walked out the bathroom and trekked my way back to my car. My bladder empty, Brielle happy and me with a new mindset and suddenly I don't feel people staring at me. I heard people say "I need tights like that" or "Her hair color is cute" or "I like those Jordans". I heard positive instead of negative. I'm happy with that. I'll take that. Mel and I decided to have Chipotle for lunch (I love their Vegetarian options but their meat and pork are hormone and antibiotic free. So feel a lil better. Lol) while eating Mel says "You feel better? I think you're gorgeous and I love your body" awww. What a sweet heart. I wish I felt the same way he did. So I answered "Thanks babe. I guess I feel ok but I'm working on it". "You gotta work on your mind before you can work on your body. You can be slim and still feel insecure" boom. He just hit the nail on the head. He knows me too well. We enjoyed lunch. And we went to the car with some dread head asking "Where did you get those tights? I wanna get some for my girl". "I got them from Victoria Secrets" says Mel. Lol. No lunch is complete without something from Starbucks so to Starbucks we went. I ordered my drink and went to pay and the guy said "It's on the house because you look nice today". WOW! Wtf. Instead of taking my free drinks, I insisted on paying. And he insisted on giving it for free "pretty girls shouldn't have to pay for everything all the time. I've been working since 11 and you're the prettiest I've seen today." Pretty? oh....ok. I said my thanks and ran out before he changed his mind. I walked out with some random guy holding the door open and telling me to have a great evening. Yeah, at this point I think I turned that confidence switch up too high. At least I thought so. I get to the car hand Mel his drink and he says "Those tights need to stay in the house next time. You're getting too much attention". What?? Are you serious? " I been seeing guys looking at you since the mall. Those tights? Never again". I ignore him. We drive home. He and Bri falls asleep and I decide today that I'm too hard on myself. One day I'll be slim. Until that day I need to learn to love my body. After all. I'm the mother of two gorgeous kids. This body I hate so much has been the housing unit for two kids. Sure, I won't be able to wear skin tight clothes but there's plenty of other clothes I can wear that'll make me look and feel pretty. I think because I'm trying to lose weight I need to mind fxck myself in a negative way to keep my eye on the prize. No. I'm torturing myself instead. I'm done with that. If you're in the same boat as me. Be done with seeing the negative..positive always works better. As Kristin says "Rome wasn't built in a day" and I have to remind myself that. I'm Rome and I can't be slim in a day. So I need to love the body I have before I get the body I want. It goes hand in hand. Once again, I'll have to continually remind myself to stop being so hard on myself && if you see me...remind me also! Have a great night! Time to cuddle with the love of my life. Who never sees a size. Just a person he fell in love with. Xoxo!

Peace && Pink
TPN...

Lacto-ovo.....What Bxtch?!?

"I'm a Lacto-ovo pescatarian vegetarian"...."What Bxtch?!"

That's the text I got back from Kristin (who I nicknamed Pudd. So she is the same person) when I told her what I am. But still, what is it?

Here we go:

Lacto-ovo - A vegetarian that still uses animal by-products. Milk, egg, cheese so on and so forth.

Pescatarian- A vegetarian that doesn't eat the flesh of meat but eats fish and seafood.

There ya go. That's what I am or transitioning to be. Why? NOT to lose weight. People have this assumption that you do certain things to lose weight. Wrong. Anything I chose to do I have a reason for. I've never been much of a meat/pork eater. So it's easy for me to give that up. I grew up on fish. Veggies and fruits I love. It's a lifestyle change that I wanted to partake in. Simply to live a healthier, happier life. That's all. If I lose weight because I cut out certain fats and sugars. More power to me. I'm not mad at that. Is it hard? I guess. But I didn't expect it to be easy. Luckily, more people are transitioning to vegans & vegetarians. So there are more vegetarian/vegan friendly products, restaurants and stores popping up everywhere. Amen to that. I've been a vegetarian since Sunday. And it's been all good. I've been trying to find substitutions for things that I love. Instead of milk I'm drinking almond/soy/ or coconut milk. Instead of sugar I'm using agavé. Things like that. I have this great restaurant thats down the street from me called Celinas that has an awesome vegetarian menu. Love it. I also have one of my bffs Teresa that's a Vegan. So I ask her lots of questions. If you put your mind to it. You can do it. Am I gonna go around singing cumbaya and promoting peace and throwing red paint of people's furs? No. Actually, if I was given a fur. I'd wear it. (Not to offend PETA lovers) I'm just not into all of that. I think cruelty of animals is horrible. But that's not my cause. I just wanna be a little more health conscious. I've come across some products that's will aid me in my transitioning to a L/P Vegetarian (L=Lacto /ovo..P= pescatarian) that I love. But majority is basic fruits and veggies. Cooking at home is gonna be a big part of my new lifestyle also. I don't like cooking. But someones gotta do it. I've downloaded apps and cookbooks (got to love that iPhone). I'm super excited about being a L/P vegetarian. My fiancée?..not so much. He's a meatatarian and will massacre a steak without thinking twice. I had to let him know that I'm not forcing anything on him or our kids. If down the line he wants to convert OK. But, we can still go out to eat and I'll be perfectly fine with the menu. After giving me that 'ok whatever you say' look he says "I support you". Yay! He even gives me reminders when I feel like I'm gonna crack. If you eat red meat and pork...right on. That's your choosing. I'll never force my decision on anyone. Like I said before : I come in peace. Ofcourse I'll let you guys know how that's going for me. If you're a vegetarian/vegan or transitioning give me some tips! I'd love to hear from you! Xoxo!


Peace && Pink
TPN...

I'll take a Kim Kardashian to go.

Kim Kardashian. Ugh I can't stand her sexy ass. I watch her eating everything she wants on tv and still has the perfect body. I want that body. I'll have the Kim Kardashian please and thank you. Can I have that body?? Please? Well begging won't help. I look in the mirror and cringe. I've never been slim....ever. But after two kids I'd like to be back into my high school days weight. Actually, I'd LOVE to be back to that size. But ugh, I live for food. The smell of a home cooked meal. The smell of any meal actually. I  live for it. I love trying new foods and I love going to new restaurants. I...love..to...eat. I wish food didn't love me as much as I loved it. It's evident food loves me. I look in the mirror and see the food I ate staring back in the form of my stomach and thighs...awesome. Another reminder of why I envy Kim Kardashian or any celebrity that has the body of a goddess. How do I lose weight? Eat less. Should be simple right? Wrong. Very wrong. Eating less is part of it. Being active is another. (Speaking of active I'm staring at my sneakers and gym bag collecting dust in my coat closet. The same coat closet I pass by everyday. The exact coat closet that I look into everyday. I look right past my gym bag. Guess no gym today). Now, I make no excuses for the things that I do. But losing weight? I have a book of excuses. "My fiancée is a big guy (6'4 300 lbs) so its hard not to eat a lot because he does, I'm a mom of two so I eat their left overs, I work nights so I need to eat to stay awake,  I can't say no to my moms cooking so I always eat seconds out of respect" and the list goes on. BULLSHXT. I know you have an excuse. We all do. I even bullshxted and said in the begin I wanna go back to high school days. Not at all. I wanna be fxcking slim. I wanna wear a bikini and smile. I wanna run around naked and not have anything flapping around.( If I choose to do so).  I wanna wear a dress and have no stomach poking out. I ask my fiancée Mel "do you think I'm fat?" Being the awesome guy he is. He says "No babe I think you're fine". I ask my other friend Kristin "You think I'm fat"? Being the friend I love she says "No but I think you can stand to lose a few pounds". AMEN! I do too!!! Damnit. And then another commercial with Kim Kardashian pops up as I'm eating an apple (thank God it was an apple and not some nasty fattening crap). That's it. It's time to lose this weight. Seeing a friends success in weight loss with Weight Watchers. I joined it. Needless to say. I canceled. WW isn't for me. I know what my problem is. I mentioned all my excuses about not losing weight. But did I say that I'm a good eater?? I read labels. I'm a veggie and fruit lover. I drink almond/soy milk. I love tofu and brown rice. I love fish. I rarely eat sweets. I despise cake. Ice cream I'll pass on. Frozen yogurt I'll take. I know random facts about almost everything food wise. I know I eat healthy. So wtf is the problem? Portion control. A palm of this, a finger tip of that, a thumb size of this, dabble of that. Cut that shxt. I'm hungry. I don't have time to be measuring out food that keeps me hungry even after eating. That my friends is my sabotage. Sure I'm eating grilled chicken with brown rice and asparagus (check). But I also just ate 3 pieces of grilled chicken 2 cups of rice and a bunch of asparagus (minus) I fxcked up.....bad. Ohh so that's why I don't see the difference in weight. Uh huh. Ok. I gotta fix that. ASAP.  I did some research and found out that Kimberly Kardashian is a work out whore. She works out 7 days a week  and even though we see her eating what she wants, she actually watches what she eats. She works for that body of hers. And she deserves to have it. Ok. I guess she has a reason. Nonetheless I'm still jealous. So today. I pledge to put more effort into losing this weight. I have a trip to Puerto Rico in December and I need to be lighter. I'll keep you guys tuned in. I plan on tackling.......the gym. I hate that place. But that's another post. So keep looking out.  Let me go play mom. My son just ate his 5th yogurt in a hour. It's time I give him an intervention.  Xoxo Luvs. Have a great night.


Peace && Pink
TPN..

Start a blog?? Really??

I'm debating. Heavily. Even while I'm typing this post I'm still debating. "You should really start a blog. I love your advice". OK. Thanks but do I really want to start a blog? Well, recently I've been debating on what I want to do with myself. Myself being Johanna who's nicknamed Jae by family and friends. I'm a 26 year old engaged mother to a 4 year old son and 10 mth old daughter (Sometimes i wondered if I would've kept the receipt for them. Fiancee included). I'm born and raised as a Brooklyn, NYer. I live in South Jersey. I'm a foodie who's transitioning into a lacto-ovo/pescatarian vegetarian (I'll explain later) I work at a local hospital as an IV Tech. I love tattoos. I love the color pink. If it comes in pink I'll take two. I live for traveling. I also live for shopping.  I love meeting new people (the more awkward the better). I am hands down the most nonchalant person I know. I take nothing personal. I always have something to say and one of my fav ways to start a sentence is with  "I Think...". I speak 2 1/2 languages. I have this weird obsession with StarBucks. And just like the average female I think I can stand to lose a few pounds. I have always been the "go to" person for any questions, advice, random information. Which prompted people to tell me I should write a blog. So OK after writing this much I've decided to start a blog. Why not. And just like that The Pink Nerd with Words is born. This isn't going to be your standard blog on one subject. I'll be talking about EVERYTHING. What I had for dinner, food and product reviews, sex, love, children, relationships and so on. I'm not shy or ashamed of anything I've ever done so you'll be reading about me and my random fxck ups. Aha, But wait there's more (no there isn't more. i just really wanted to say that). You'll laugh, you'll be confused, you might cry, you might get motivated. I might even offend you. But remember I, Johanna come in peace. So my thoughts and words are JUST that..MY thoughts and words. Enjoy or don't enjoy. It's entirely up to you. Either way. The Pink Nerd has spoken.


Peace && Pink
TPN...